This weekend wasnt really a good one. A beautiful girl has been flirting with me and we’ve been hooking up (sorta) for a while now. Shes gorgeous, so beautiful.. and she has an amazing voice, acts, sings, dances… etc. She told me she was falling for me. Thats what did it for me, instantly I had begun to become smitten by her. The biggest issue is, she’s on the beach right now with (who I just found out was her boyfriend) I havent talked to her since. She comes back today. I dont want to have to see her. Not yet. She doesn’t even know the extent of the simultaneous rage and love for her building inside me. 

I just recently came into contact with my ex. The one who broke my heart a year minus 6 days ago today. It was wonderful, Im so relieved to have no more hostility towards each other. But this is my life so of course things are going to start going wrong eventually. Today I was kinda jokingly flirting with her and it ended up with a mutual like… sexual proposal. Which, I am still attracted to her minus any romantic feelings whatsoever. We had agreed a purely sexual thing would be nice, she even said “I need something sexual with someone I dont have romantic feelings for so I can release my violent sexual tendencies” or some shit like that. Next.. what made me lose it was she said “which is why I need to use you”

No. You don’t say that shit to me. Not after you already used me. Not only you though, the aforementioned girl, and the last girl, and the last girl, and the last girl. I’ve only ever been used. Not for my looks, HAHAHAHA but I guess its fair to say I know how to please a woman well sexually. The only thing I do better than that is know how to please a woman romantically and make her feel loved. No one gets to see that side though. No one wants to. Use me and let me pick up the pieces when they leave. 

Im tired, too tired for this. Please. Make it stop.